Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A Note From Heaven :D

Hello Everyone and GOD Bless You all! I am writing what will probably be the very last entry into this blog; but one I just had to do! It's been a little over a month since I went home to be with my 'Father' and I gotta tell you - everything they say about this place is even better than you could ever imagine! I am great! I've met all kinds of my family; and Nicholas and I have been causing all kinds of monkey-business and mayhem up here ;) We have been keeping mom and dad real busy too hehe, but things are starting to settle down for them. I am going to turn the blog over to mom for one last word and then I am off to pick wildflowers in the meadow and catch some fireflies in a jar :) Thank you all again for all of the prayers and support you have bestowed upon our family!

It's really funny how the human mind works and mine especially, I go off in a million different directions all at once - kind of like I give directions lol So, I have spent the last month and two days thinking about all kinds of things and in between my video games :) I have been very moved by the support we have been blessed with. I felt compelled to make a final entry, and have been for a couple of days but been unable to put into words any and hopefully all of the thoughts I have. While I was "cleaning up" my profile page (I am ADDICTED to FB games for those who don't know ;) ) and the amount of prayers and thoughts directed toward us for the last few months have moved me. It is easy to see the people physically here or physically sending things but it is also easy to overlook just the peace and uplifting things that just a "I'm thinking about you" does for a person's spirit. I have been going on auto-pilot for the last couple of months and have not fully appreciated the enormity of the outpouring of love, support, prayers and thoughts and just how many lives our little angel touched. There were complete strangers wishing us well and I have had the gift of even corresponding with some of them and getting to know them. The power of GOD is truly amazing!
Steve and I are doing fine - we both have our good days and our bad days and some days it feels impossible to get out of bed; while others, sleep eludes and on those days you find it impossible to stop working - because there are ALWAYS things to be done...but we are coping and trying our best to just follow His lead because we know that He is taking us somewhere great! We cannot even begin to get a thank you to every single person who took time out of their day, even if just seconds, to think of us and of Mister Rhys-ee; and for that we can be nothing but eternally grateful.

It is so comforting to know that when those days come that seem impassible that He has provided so many people to support and just love us; and that everyone He has sent our way may not even realize how very much it means and helps us. There are times when we are lost and do not know how to communicate the need to feel that support and at times we have seemed distant or like we are not wanting to talk - but know that it comes from honestly not knowing what to do or how to feel. So many have said that they just cannot imagine the situation that we have been through and still continue to go through each day and the funny thing is, WE cannot imagine how it feels. We are taking each day one by one, and sometimes each hour minute by minute, and while the hurt that we feel is so incredibly sharp and the hole that sometimes seems to fill the very depths of our souls grows and brings us to our knees in tears and prayer - we are finding a way to make it through and we are surviving with more blessings than we ever could have ever imagined.

We miss Rhys with so much longing and love and while he would have been right around 3 weeks old and home keeping us up all night long and making us cranky, in the best case scenario, that just wasn't the intended path we were meant to take.

I have no answers for why and to sit and question His plan all day yields nothing but frustration, exhaustion and sorrow; I will continue on our 'day-by-day' plan and know that in the long run, at the end, this will all make sense and when I get to Heaven myself, I won't remember all of the sorrow and pain that I felt here. Isn't this just a speck of time in the scheme of Eternal Life?

Thank you all who have supported our family and we hope that GOD blesses you, just as he has blessed us!